One thing I really like about the dojo I train at is the fact that we not only train physically, but we train mentally. Conflict management takes much more than brute force. It is a skill that is lacking in many American people, because most of us are raised to believe that you have to fight for what you believe in. Don't get me wrong, everyone should be able to stand up for themselves, but there are much more effective methods for resolving issues. We generally make better decisions when we are calm and focused.
There is a common phrase we use for someone who has let their anger overcome them. We call it "losing your temper." I'm not sure where this phrase came from, but I relate it to when steel loses its temper. When steel gets overheated, it turns a bluish color and gets very weak to where it can be broken easily. This goes the same for people. When we "lose our temper," we become very weak and are not only begging for physical confrontation, but we may allow ourselves to take things too far, doing something we regret, and possibly sever a relationship with a long-time friend. In other words, we make ourselves weaker.
As my sensei would say, "The best way to win in a fight is to avoid it altogether."
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