One thing I really like about the dojo I train at is the fact that we not only train physically, but we train mentally. Conflict management takes much more than brute force. It is a skill that is lacking in many American people, because most of us are raised to believe that you have to fight for what you believe in. Don't get me wrong, everyone should be able to stand up for themselves, but there are much more effective methods for resolving issues. We generally make better decisions when we are calm and focused.
There is a common phrase we use for someone who has let their anger overcome them. We call it "losing your temper." I'm not sure where this phrase came from, but I relate it to when steel loses its temper. When steel gets overheated, it turns a bluish color and gets very weak to where it can be broken easily. This goes the same for people. When we "lose our temper," we become very weak and are not only begging for physical confrontation, but we may allow ourselves to take things too far, doing something we regret, and possibly sever a relationship with a long-time friend. In other words, we make ourselves weaker.
As my sensei would say, "The best way to win in a fight is to avoid it altogether."
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Talk less, Do more
How many times have you talked and talked about doing something and, before you know it, a year has gone by and you have still not even started the task. It is frustrating, to say the least, and I know how easy it is to get down on yourself about it. Don't let it get to you. We all have goals in life, but sometimes we let our mind get cluttered with goals that are unnecessary or just a complete fantasy. For example, I like to sing along to a song on the radio, but I have enough common sense to know that I will never be the next "American Idol." A goal like that would be preposterous for someone like me. A more realistic goal would be to lose 15 more pounds or to write more lesson plans for the classes I teach. Remember that a good goal has measurable results. If you say something like, "I want to be a better person," you need to determine how you plan to go about it.
A better way of writing this goal would be: "In order to be a better person, I plan to..."
Then you can list all the various achievable tasks that you think will make you better. It is also a good idea to post your goal in a place where you know you will look at every morning such as your bathroom mirror or on the wall where you eat breakfast.
A better way of writing this goal would be: "In order to be a better person, I plan to..."
Then you can list all the various achievable tasks that you think will make you better. It is also a good idea to post your goal in a place where you know you will look at every morning such as your bathroom mirror or on the wall where you eat breakfast.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Children's Minds
Today I get to go on a field trip with my daughter's Fourth Grade class. I always look forward to hanging out with my daughters' classes because it keeps me in touch with that spirit of constant learning. Sometimes, as adults, we get so worried about looking foolish that we try to act like we know everything. Or we let researchers convince us that adults cannot learn as well as children.
What we need to remember is that children are just a smaller version of us (usually with less impulse control), and that there is no reason on this earth that we can't learn just as well. I know when someone starts a new job, for instance, they want everyone to see how knowledgeable they are. That is okay, however, by convincing everyone that they already know everything, they may have ruined any chance of anyone giving them helpful advice.
Other times we get jaded when we have been doing something a while to the point where the rudimentary skills seem tedious and boring. Just try to remember that the basic skills are what catapulted you into where you are at this moment and that these skills should not be allowed to diminish. The old saying, "Use it or lose it" has stood the test of time for a reason. If we do not practice the basics constantly, all of the other skills will suffer.
So, as I get ready to leave for the field trip, I will remember that the children are not the only ones who will learn something today.
What we need to remember is that children are just a smaller version of us (usually with less impulse control), and that there is no reason on this earth that we can't learn just as well. I know when someone starts a new job, for instance, they want everyone to see how knowledgeable they are. That is okay, however, by convincing everyone that they already know everything, they may have ruined any chance of anyone giving them helpful advice.
Other times we get jaded when we have been doing something a while to the point where the rudimentary skills seem tedious and boring. Just try to remember that the basic skills are what catapulted you into where you are at this moment and that these skills should not be allowed to diminish. The old saying, "Use it or lose it" has stood the test of time for a reason. If we do not practice the basics constantly, all of the other skills will suffer.
So, as I get ready to leave for the field trip, I will remember that the children are not the only ones who will learn something today.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Happy Memorial Day
It is Memorial Day once again, and most people are gearing up for their barbecue. In order to honor the fallen, I have a few words:
Thank you all for your sacrifice to your country and your families.
I could never repay you, but I will live my life remembering that you paid the ultimate price for what you believed in.
I will raise my family in honor of you, teaching them the value of hardship and sacrifice for their beliefs.
I will always thank your family because they too paid a tremendous price.
I will honor your memory in all of my actions.
Thank you again and may you rest in peace.
Thank you all for your sacrifice to your country and your families.
I could never repay you, but I will live my life remembering that you paid the ultimate price for what you believed in.
I will raise my family in honor of you, teaching them the value of hardship and sacrifice for their beliefs.
I will always thank your family because they too paid a tremendous price.
I will honor your memory in all of my actions.
Thank you again and may you rest in peace.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
How Martial Arts Has Changed My Life
There I was, at 36 years old, having just finished a 16-week fitness program. I was proud of my accomplishment, however, I did not know where to go from there. Should I start the program over using more weight and reps, or should I start a new, different program? Enter Martial Arts.
When I was in the Navy, I studied Muay Thai with a fellow sailor who had grown up in Thailand where his father was stationed. So I figured I would look for a Muay Thai school in my area. Unfortunately, there were no traditional schools in my area, just the ring-fighting style which did not interest me.
It's funny how things fall into place sometimes. After giving up on my Muay Thai search, I decided to expand the search into other forms of Martial Arts. My daughter was already into Taekwondo, but I wanted that to be just hers. I looked at Mixed Martial Arts, but that was a lot of angry, young men beating on each other. I was searching for a more "soulful" version of the Martial Arts.
One day I was depositing money at my bank, and when I pulled out of the parking lot, I saw a small martial arts place next to a sandwich shop. It was different than any place I had previously visited, because it was a half-acupuncture-clinic, half-dojo. I talked to the sensei, and asked of I could observe the class. She agreed on one condition: I had to stay for the whole class. This was the first time any of the instructors had asked this of me, so I figured there must be something different about this place. To my delight, what was different about this dojo was what made it the perfect choice for me. The students did not just train punches, kicks, and blocks like most other places. They did about an hour worth of warm-up exercises, strength and conditioning exercises, and deep stretches and breathing. Then they started to train the movements. Talk about a practical art! What could be better for overall well-being? Not only would I get plenty of exercise, but I would learn the focus and discipline of a Martial Art, and it was only two miles from home! As soon as I could get the money together, I paid the first month's fee, bought a uniform, and got started.
Since that day (just over a year ago), not only have I gotten in much better shape (20-pounds lighter), but I seem to have better mental focus, an insanely higher level of patience, and a general calmness about things that I never had before. I have learned to limit my efforts to only the necessary, and not waste much thought on things which clutter the brain. I have also watched my daughter's overall demeanor change since she started Taekwondo. She is only seven, so she still gets rowdy, but her alertness and focus have improved dramatically. (Now she doesn't annoy her big sister as much.)
By Martial Arts standards I am still basically scratching the surface, but I have realized that this is a choice I have made for life. The great thing is that there are no time limits, nor will I finish the program wondering what to do next. Perfection is a myth; you should just keep practicing to get better each day. I plan to practice until I run out of days.
When I was in the Navy, I studied Muay Thai with a fellow sailor who had grown up in Thailand where his father was stationed. So I figured I would look for a Muay Thai school in my area. Unfortunately, there were no traditional schools in my area, just the ring-fighting style which did not interest me.
It's funny how things fall into place sometimes. After giving up on my Muay Thai search, I decided to expand the search into other forms of Martial Arts. My daughter was already into Taekwondo, but I wanted that to be just hers. I looked at Mixed Martial Arts, but that was a lot of angry, young men beating on each other. I was searching for a more "soulful" version of the Martial Arts.
One day I was depositing money at my bank, and when I pulled out of the parking lot, I saw a small martial arts place next to a sandwich shop. It was different than any place I had previously visited, because it was a half-acupuncture-clinic, half-dojo. I talked to the sensei, and asked of I could observe the class. She agreed on one condition: I had to stay for the whole class. This was the first time any of the instructors had asked this of me, so I figured there must be something different about this place. To my delight, what was different about this dojo was what made it the perfect choice for me. The students did not just train punches, kicks, and blocks like most other places. They did about an hour worth of warm-up exercises, strength and conditioning exercises, and deep stretches and breathing. Then they started to train the movements. Talk about a practical art! What could be better for overall well-being? Not only would I get plenty of exercise, but I would learn the focus and discipline of a Martial Art, and it was only two miles from home! As soon as I could get the money together, I paid the first month's fee, bought a uniform, and got started.
Since that day (just over a year ago), not only have I gotten in much better shape (20-pounds lighter), but I seem to have better mental focus, an insanely higher level of patience, and a general calmness about things that I never had before. I have learned to limit my efforts to only the necessary, and not waste much thought on things which clutter the brain. I have also watched my daughter's overall demeanor change since she started Taekwondo. She is only seven, so she still gets rowdy, but her alertness and focus have improved dramatically. (Now she doesn't annoy her big sister as much.)
By Martial Arts standards I am still basically scratching the surface, but I have realized that this is a choice I have made for life. The great thing is that there are no time limits, nor will I finish the program wondering what to do next. Perfection is a myth; you should just keep practicing to get better each day. I plan to practice until I run out of days.
Unusual Successes
I would love to hear from anyone who has an unusual success story. The more unusual the better!
Reading Recommendations
Does anyone have any reading recommendations dealing with the subject of self-improvement?
Welcome
Hello, everyone. I decided to start my first blog for a couple of reasons. One, I have never tried this and I always like to learn new things. Two, I am looking for people with similar interests who are willing to share and discuss insight into any subject which deals with self-improvement, career enhancement, reading recommendations, martial arts, and anything else which will inspire others to follow the path of "budo." Please try to leave politics and religion out of the discussions, because these two subjects seem to lead to deterioration of discussions. Thank you for visiting my blog. Always remember: "If you are not getting better, you are getting worse."
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